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What’s the Best Office Music? A Definitive Answer

what's the best office music
Don’t Scratch the Vinyl
Let’s just start with a proclamation: This is, without doubt, the definitive critical dissection of the best office music to listen to in the world. I’ve taken many scientific readings with lots of facts and figures in the name of truth. I’ve visited most of the continents. When it comes to determining the best office music, shortcuts simply will not do. I have, for all intents and purposes, listened to every recorded piece of music in the history of mankind, and whittled down all the love, sorrow, joy, and cerebral excesses to the top of the mountain, the head of the pin, the crown of the king… I’m joking. I haven’t done any of those things. But people like music in the office (and it’s good for you), so I’m going to discuss what makes the best office music listening. Let’s get this turntable moving and grooving: 1. No Rap  This pains me more than most. I LOVE rap music. You (should) love rap music. Rap music is the present and future king of popular music. But… and you know the “but” already…the content! The language! Just not appropriate for the work environment. Ahhhhhh. Moving on before I get teary-eyed. 2.  No Show Tunes This seems obvious, but you’d be surprised. People really like Frozen. There is a time and place for show tunes (or songs from movies) and that time and place is most likely sitting in a live audience on Broadway for the former, or babysitting your four-year old niece for the latter. Don’t be that person blasting the Wicked soundtrack. Just, don’t do it. 3. No Top 40 Radio Repetition, repetition, repetition. There are only so many Taylor Swift songs a human ear can take in one hour before it shuts down completely, like an out of gas car put-put-puttering to it’s final destination. Not to mention Top 40 is very Pop, and people sometimes aren’t fans of Pop. Top 40 is a young person’s game. The workplace probably is not. 4. No Metal, Punk, Scream-o, Emo, etc. For obvious reasons. Unless you have Joe Strummer fighting the law until the law wins, best to keep away from the punk – classic or otherwise. Metal and punk and emo tend to be angry music. There’s a cathartic nature to their thrashing. Best experienced with a beer and a crowd. Nobody wants angry music in the office. Who wants that? 5. No R&B, Soul, Baby-making music, etc. Because the workplace is not a bedroom. Personal is personal. Professional is professional. Let’s keep it that way, Jamie Foxx. 6. No Classical Booooooring. Classical music is great for studying and sleeping, neither of which you should be doing at work. Unless you write for a living. Some people write for a living. Sometimes those people listen to classical music for writing inspiration. Don’t judge me. Mozart was an incredible genius. 7. No Adult Easy Listening Because this is Austin, dammit! Rock and roll! Live music capital of the world! That sort of thing. Jason Mraz and John Mayer will drive you insane if you listen to them enough. It’s true. Scientifically proven. And don’t even get me started on the new folky-shouty-hand-clappy music that soundtracks car commercials. Your office deserves better than those wet blankets. So, that leaves us with the winner. The best office music is… You guessed it: CLASSIC ROCK, BABY!!! Cue Aerosmith. Classic Rock! Yes, it might be overplayed. Yes, it might be the “safe” answer. But didn’t your mothers ever tell you, “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it”? No? Maybe that’s only a Texas thing. The reality is that classic rock has it all. These are songs that we’re all very familiar with, so they don’t take our attention away from work. The songs are good; classics – it’s right there in the name. As the years keep going, the “classic rock” genre keeps growing larger, encompassing first the 60s and 70s, then the 80s, and probably eventually, the 90s. Hopefully, I’m retired by the time Nirvana becomes classic rock, but I guess we’ll find out. Classic rock has The Beatles. Everyone likes The Beatles. In today’s niche society, it’s impossible to please everyone. But John, Paul, George, and Ringo are the closest thing we have to a cultural monolith anymore. And even if you’ve heard “Hey Jude,” approximately 100,000,000 times, that’s not going to change. Throw in some Zeppelin, some Stones, and maybe a Warren Zevon song here and there, and you’ve got yourself the best music for the office. Period. cc image courtesy assillo via Flickr

Logan Theissen

Logan is a Content Marketing Associate at FreightPros in charge of social media and content creation. He has a writing degree from the University of Oklahoma, but lives life on the edge and resides in Longhorn country. He loves Murakami books, Tarantino movies, and Vonnegut books. Lots of books. One day he will own a dog, but first he'll have to get a yard.

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